Cuddle
by cliffieluv
Summary: It's the Morning After WAO and Naley Cuddle
1. Chapter One Part One

Title: "Cuddle" Author: Rebekah Pairing: NH Summary: It's The Morning After. Post-WAO. Feedback: Yes, please.  
  
**  
  
Haley James liked to have her space. She needed to be able to spread out on her bed and swing her arms out wide and feel nothing constricting her movement. There was usually something liberating to be found in doing that, like it produced a sense of independence from the laws of nature, which always tended to pack as much matter into a volume as was possible. Or maybe that was just in the New York subway or in the Tree Hill High gymnasium.  
  
But at this moment, as she lay curled in Nathan's arms, Haley realized just why certain phrases, like 'invasion of space' had been created, although for the life of her she couldn't figure out why they were given a negative connotation. "Invasion of space" was most definitely a good thing and so was taking risks.  
  
It was interesting, this turn of events. The day before, when she and Nathan 'had words' before the game, she had been sure that Nathan was one step away from breaking off whatever had been going on between them. As she had told Peyton, she couldn't even be sure what they were, and Nathan telling her how "people are mean" wasn't instilling much confidence in his abilities as a boyfriend. She could understand that he was under pressure, but the way he spoke to her, well it didn't help quell that loud, nagging voice in her head [Peyton and Lucas's constant whispering in her ear to] [I] be careful.[/I]  
  
Then he had come to her and spoken to her like no one else ever had:  
  
[I]But then I saw you. I promised myself that if I could just get up, and walk over to you, and tell you how much I need you, how much I want you, then nothing else matters.[/I]  
  
He said things that nobody had ever even hinted at feeling before. It wasn't that she had never been hit on before, because she had. It wasn't that she had never been asked out on a date before, because believe it or not she actually had. But no one had ever wormed their way into her heart and her head like this before. No one had ever said that they wanted her and that nothing else but HER mattered.  
  
She liked her space, and this applied to people too. Lucas was the one she felt she could tell anything to, be herself with, but even with him she sometimes had to take a step back. Luke was the kind of person whose brain was always figuring something out, always trying to piece together puzzles, jumping to conclusions. There were a lot of things Haley therefore kept inside, afraid to share with anyone, not liking people to jump to conclusions about her.  
  
Like, how when she was twelve and she told her big sister Bethany that she wished Lucas would kiss her, her "crush" was then the topic of discussion at family dinners for the next month when in truth she just wanted to know what it was like to kiss someone and she didn't know many boys other than Lucas who didn't totally repulse her.  
  
So when she told Nathan that day in front of her that there was nothing he could do to surprise her, and then he pulled her to him and kissed her, it was the first time she realized that taking space isn't such a good thing. The realization was so daunting that she acted on it immediately, pouncing into his arms and kissing him twice-fold - closing her eyes and letting his strong arms guide her.  
  
Things had changed so quickly, yet they were a long time coming.  
  
**  
  
So, this was spooning.  
  
Warmth radiated off of him in spades as he held her flush against his body. He was still sleeping and there was nothing in this world that would make Haley wake him up. Listening to his slow, regular breaths was as hypnotic as putting her ear to a seashell and hearing the ocean.  
  
She thought about getting out of bed and doing something practical.starting breakfast, cleaning up, taking a shower. But her emotions were forcing her to stay where she was so she could commit to memory the way she was feeling at this very moment: the first time she had ever woken up in someone else's arms. It was, to put it mildly, exhilarating. It was, as well, also very confusing because as she thought back to the practical things she usually did to start her day, she couldn't help but think of doing those things with him. For their breakfast, he would toast the bagels while she poured the orange juice. He'd want butter and she'd want cream cheese but then end up taking a bite of his and wanting to switch. Then they'd straighten up the living room, and she would vacuum and he would pretend to dust the TV but really just be watching the game. Lastly, she would shower and dress for work and it was here that Haley started to wonder just what she was prepared to get into with Nathan Scott.  
  
Because the way she was feeling right now, she wanted nothing more than to strip down, jump in the shower, and wait for Nathan to hear the running water and join her. But there was another part of her that was not ready for that type of intimacy at all, and that part of her also wondered what Nathan would have to say on the subject.  
  
If her life had been a cartoon, she could picture the angel and demon sitting on her shoulder, pondering this very dilemma. The angel would have a balloon over her head and the caption would read: You know he'll wait if you ask him to. The devil would have a balloon over her head with a caption that reads: What, are you stupid! Just LOOK at him. And then in the last frame she would pop the angel's bubble and smile.  
  
But Haley won't rely on angels and devils to make the hard decisions for her. She has always been pretty sure of her mind, and for once she was sure she had found someone who appreciated that quality in her, which would make it a lot easier for her to listen to her mind, and not her body.  
  
Her body, which was still pressed up against Nathan; her fingers, which were playing with the strands of hair at the nape of his neck; her feet, which were tangled up in his long legs.  
  
She closed her eyes and let his breathing lull her back to sleep.  
  
**  
  
When she woke up again she was in a slightly different position, to the side of Nathan rather than directly in his arms. Haley noticed this immediately because unlike before, she was now slightly cold and involuntarily started rubbing her arms. The movement in the bed caused Nathan to turn over and reveal to her that he was in deed awake.  
  
She was facing him now. She didn't know what to do now. Should she say something? Should she kiss him? Should she have brushed her teeth earlier so that now she could kiss him?  
  
Haley really had no idea so she did the only thing she could do. She hesitantly laid her head down on his stomach, and waited to see what he did next. He shifted so that he steal his arm from underneath her and wrap it around her shoulder. His fingertips gently rubbed circles on her upper arm.  
  
He kissed the top of her head.  
  
Haley couldn't help but smile smugly. She may not have any experience waking up in the arms of a boy, but she figured that was certainly a sign of approval.  
  
Her smug smile branched out into a wide grin, and if she didn't watch it she fully expected herself to start dancing in place, and that would be embarrassing to have to explain.  
  
"No, no I don't have to pee." "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to knee you [I]there[/I]." "I thought maybe you'd like to learn the Snoopy dance."  
  
She started involuntarily giggling. Giggling? It was something she had started doing a lot since Nathan entered her life. He was turning her into such a.girl.  
  
He chuckled. His grin mirrored hers. He was relieved that she didn't regret letting him stay.  
  
"What's so funny?" he finally broke the silence.  
  
She buried her head in his white undershirt and removed it only long enough to mumble the first thing she made up on the spot.  
  
"I was thinking about this program on the Discovery Channel and they were talking about penguins and how they are trying to breed ones that fly but."  
  
He cocked his head to the side and silently questioned her sanity with his blue eyes. His fingers never left contact with her shoulder, and the repeated touch combined with the amused look he was giving her was slowly starting to bring an ache to her belly.  
  
"I'm never going to expect any of the words that come out of your mouth, am I?" he asked then.  
  
"Nope," she answered. "But I don't want to talk now anyway. You can talk, but I'm going to keep quiet otherwise I'm just going to keep on rambling and I'll probably start singing the fifty states song or something."  
  
He put up a finger to her lips.  
  
"You," his voice was hardly above a whisper, "are totally nervous about being in bed with me."  
  
It was hard to sound sarcastic with a giant smile plastered on her face but she tried nonetheless to deliver her reply with an un-anxious, monosyllabic voice.  
  
"I am not," she said simply.  
  
His mouth curved into a relaxed smile.  
  
"Haley," he drawled. "You're practically dancing."  
  
She let out a surprised noise. How were they always on the same wavelength? What surprised him was that she hadn't started grilling him about what happened at the game yet. Peyton never waited more than a minute before grilling him, but Haley was more than content with just staying in his arms for a little while longer, whether or not they talked about anything at all. Then the thought came to him; he needed to not compare the two girls. That would only get him in trouble later on down the road, especially since they were becoming friends. Still, he had to say something about it, since it really meant a lot to him.  
  
He was still rubbing circles on her arm. He stopped, and she looked up at him expectantly.  
  
"You know, I can't believe you haven't asked me what happened yet."  
  
Haley let out an unsure sigh. She didn't want to push, but the whole incident had really scared her, and she did want to know why he collapsed but only if he was ready to tell her. First though, she had something to tell him.  
  
"I do want to know but first let me tell you a little story. When I was younger, my brothers and sisters and I would watch Star Search and that show always made me upset. I couldn't understand why my siblings liked it so much when most of the performers on it, hundreds of talented children who would grow up to be very successful whether or not they chose to capitalize on the special gift God gave them, looked miserable while they were on stage. One after another I could see fear and disappointment and sadness in their faces and I just knew it was because they knew that if they lost they would have to walk off stage and face unhappy parents who wanted their child to win at all costs, and would only push them harder the next time. I don't want you to win at all costs. That doesn't mean I don't want you to win, or that I don't want you to play basketball. I know how much you love the game. But I see something in you that I didn't see in those contestants on that stupid TV show. I've seen you thrive when you're on the court. I've seen you be happy. I didn't see that in you last night and I can only guess why."  
  
It was in this moment that he knew he had found something special in this girl and he knew beyond a doubt he could confide in her. He told her about the drugs, and the pressure from his dad, and how sorry he was that he let his behavior get so out of control in her bedroom and before the game.  
  
When he finished talking, he looked so down that she tried to joke and cheer him up.  
  
"Hey, you always have your good looks to fall back on if this basketball thing doesn't pan out. Marky Mark modeled underwear for Calvin Klein and look where he is today," she said with a slight laugh. "Wait, he's not in rehab, is he?"  
  
"Nice Haley," he deadpanned, though he couldn't help but laugh as well, "real nice. When I bared my soul to you I told you how much I needed you and wanted you while you just compared me to a B-list movie star."  
  
She rested her chin on his chest and stared up at him with wide-open brown eyes.  
  
"I thought my whole Star Search analogy was really profound," she mumbled as her mouth sagged into a pout. "I probably should have stopped while I was ahead."  
  
He leaned down and kissed her mouth, quieting her and wiping that frown away.  
  
"I was teasing you," he told her, "but I would like to know.do you feel that way about me? Like when you see me or when you're with me, nothing else matters."  
  
She wanted to say yes. A part of her felt the answer was yes but another part of her was screaming that it was too soon to definitely know that. He was acting terribly vulnerable and Haley didn't know what to say.  
  
It was daunting. Yes, Nathan Scott meant a hell of a lot to her. More than she ever thought he would. But, was it all-or-nothing love? How could she know for sure? They didn't make any PBS documentaries about this or at least, if they had she had certainly missed it.  
  
All of a sudden she wished she were more experienced in bedroom talk. Brooke and Peyton would know exactly what to say now to lower the tension and bring back the romantic feelings that they had both woken up with. It was taking every ounce of strength she had not to just roll over onto the floor and slide herself under the bed.  
  
But she didn't. Instead, Haley said the first thing that came to her mind. Something she figured Nathan would want to hear, if she couldn't tell him just yet what he really wanted to hear.  
  
"Let's talk about this later. Why don't we go take a shower?"  
  
She would have choked on the words if she hadn't been trying so hard to say them with sincerity.  
  
"Haley," the way he said her name made her shiver.  
  
Of course, that was only the worse thing she could have said but it had seemed like a good thing at the time.  
  
"No, don't Haley me. I.I'm serious," she tried again.  
  
It was obvious to Nathan what she was doing, and while a part of him liked that she was trying to put his feelings before her own.decorum, it was also a little hurtful that she wouldn't just tell him the truth.  
  
"If it's just too soon, tell me?" he asked.  
  
"What, to take a shower? I asked you remember," she faltered slightly over her words when she knew full well what he was referring to.  
  
"No.I mean. I get it, you don't feel the same way."  
  
He finally removed his arm from around her shoulder and tried to sit up but her hand on his leg stopped him. She sighed as she realized the only way to get her pathetic self out of this mess was to be brutally honest. She fidgeted nervously as she spoke.  
  
"I like you," she began. "A lot, in fact. I - I don't do this Nathan. I don't have sleepovers with boys and I certainly don't fall asleep in their arms. I don't even like having stuffed animals on my bed.but last night, when you asked me if you could stay, and I looked into your eyes, I - I never wanted anything more in my life and when I woke up in your arms and I touched your hair and you held me tight, everything just clicked and fit."  
  
Nathan let out the breath he'd been holding. She just told him all he needed to hear.  
  
"Why didn't you say that before?" he asked.  
  
"Because smart girls are often really stupid, you'll learn this." she didn't get to finish her rant.  
  
He lowered his lips to her and kissed the life out of his stupid smart girl. 


	2. Chapter One Part Two

Thanks for the Feedback. I know the Italics don't come out right but I post this story on a message board and I need the Italics that way for it to post correctly there. Sorry if that makes it hard to read here but I don't feel like going back and editing them all out. Anyway, the Disclaimer is in Part One and here is Part Two.  
  
Chapter One Part Two  
  
There was a bra hanging off a towel hook on the back of her door. Haley was so used to leaving it there when she went to sleep at night that yesterday when she changed out of her clothes and into her pajamas she placed the bra in its same resting place. Now she kind of wished it wasn't out there in the open since Nathan's eyes seemed to keep glancing in its direction. It was pretty obvious that if the bra was over by the door, it wasn't on her body.  
  
She had stopped him once, the day they had been studying in her room. He moved too fast unbuttoning her shirt, his hands were just a little too experienced and it completely unnerved her. He had done that so many times before with other girls. At the time, she didn't know what made her any more or less special to him and it had been important to her to find out.  
  
After last night, she knew. They had the heart-to-heart, even if he did have to almost drag the confession out of her. Was she sure it would change anything the next time his hand was sneaking up her shirt? It all depended on whether or not she was listening to the angel or the devil. The longer she laid in bed with him, with her head on his chest and his arm strewn protectively over her, the easier it was becoming for the devil to pitchfork the angel in her halo and catapult the saintly spirit off to far away lands.  
  
There was still a lot she both wanted and needed to know about Nathan Scott. The man was not the myth. But most myths were often exaggerations of truth. Haley liked truth and honesty. Especially, in situations like this.where she felt herself falling into unknown territory and it was becoming harder and harder to keep her head above the surface. Being here with Nathan, well it was starting to feel rather domestic. Haley on the right side of the bed and Nathan on the left, like a real couple that shared drawer space and had designated sides of the bed.  
  
There were urges. Urges to run away, back to Lucas and mini-golf and safety. Urges to lift up Nathan's shirt and find out whether or not the rumor that he had a nipple ring was real. Urges to run over to the store and buy Nathan a pair of slippers to leave on the floor so his feet wouldn't get cold in the crisp morning air.  
  
She had been so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Nathan was staring down at her until she felt one of his fingers run past the corner of her eye. She looked up at him, wondering what he was doing. He held his finger up. It was slightly darkened by the mascara or eye shadow he had just wiped off her face. "You missed a spot," he said softly.  
  
"Thanks," she replied, taking his hand in between hers and rubbing them until the spot disappeared. "This make-up thing is new. I haven't exactly gotten the hang of it yet."  
  
"It looks pretty good to me," he captured her lips with his. "Just don't go overboard. I get a lecture every time I stain the collar of another shirt."  
  
She swallowed the lump in her throat. She replied to him slowly.  
  
"I get lectured too, when Luke throws his boxers in the hamper. Mom just flips."  
  
He went silent and tensed up next to her. "I didn't need the visual," he finally spit out in a hard voice.  
  
"Neither did I," she said back in the same tone. She was blinking back tears.  
  
"I have a past Haley."  
  
She knew that. In fact, his ex-girlfriend was becoming a good friend of hers. So, she didn't exactly understand why his comment had upset her. It didn't make sense - that she could talk to Peyton about Nathan but the minute he brings up other girls, she becomes jealous.  
  
He wasn't going to keep apologizing for things he did in the past. He made his peace with Peyton, and he'd spoken with Haley enough times during their tutoring sessions about how sorry he felt for his actions, that he didn't think he really had to explain himself again. But that really wasn't what it was about.  
  
"I don't, Nathan." She shrugged and looked up at him. "I'm a blank slate."  
  
The honesty in her face made him blink. He wanted to be that honest back. It had just never been in his nature before. He wondered if he'd be able to keep it up, or if he'd end up disappointing her. After all he was a worn roadmap, highlighted and dog-eared.  
  
"We're coming from two different places," he agreed.  
  
"It doesn't matter though, right?" she asked quietly.  
  
More than anything it had to not matter. So how could he tell her it might? He wouldn't be able to.  
  
"I already told you once, nothing else matters."  
  
His voice was husky and sent shivers down her spine. She leaned up and licked her lips just a little. She saw his eyes immediately shift towards her mouth and she smiled. He was really drawn to her. This wasn't just an adolescent game of wills that two strong-headed people were playing. There were hearts involved.  
  
"That was the right answer," she said knowingly.  
  
He kissed her and that all but entirely removed the conversation from her mind. This was the way she wanted to wake up.  
  
His hands rested on the soft skin of her waist. Her pajamas were too baggy to sit exactly on her hipbone and she moaned into his mouth as he explored her body. She noticed he was being more reserved this time and on that principle alone she let it continue probably longer than she would have on another occasion.  
  
He kissed a trail of kisses up to her ear. "This isn't about sex for me. When you're ready, I'll be too." He placed a fast kiss on her collarbone and waited contently for her to respond.  
  
She tried to find her voice but it was somewhere in the pit of her stomach. "You're going to have to teach me," the words were almost embarrassing to admit.  
  
He grinned like the Cheshire.  
  
"Oh, I like the sound of that," he had that sly look on his face and it eased the tension that had previously apprehended her.  
  
It was said in that tone that always seemed to make her giggle. His [I]I know I'm sexy and now you know it too[/I] voice.  
  
So she giggled. "I figured you would take pleasure in my discomfort."  
  
His hands were still on her waist, massaging the skin there. She looked at him expectantly. He laughed. "I'm sarcastic, not sadistic."  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "Sadistic." Haley repeated, as she clicked her tongue. "That's a big word," she teased him.  
  
He grinned. "Well see, I have this demanding tutor. She makes me read Shakespeare and the Webster dictionary and I do it because she's really smart and really hot, and I hear she used to take gymnastics so she's incredibly flexi."  
  
The phone shrilled, and Haley gave him a look that he better stop talking. She picked up the receiver but before speaking into it she covered it up with her hand and hissed at him, "Where did you hear I took gymnastics? I can't even cartwheel anymore."  
  
Nathan smiled and leaned back into the pillows as he watched her, completely flustered, try and talk on the phone.  
  
**  
  
Nathan had never asked his parents where babies came from. He never crawled into his mothers lap and put his head down on her stomach and asked why she didn't have a big belly like his friends mothers did. He was more than content to be an only child.  
  
He never got lonely. His father was always up for a game of basketball. His mother would always sit and watch Saved by the Bell re-runs with him. He had parents who occupied his free time when he wasn't being entertained by one of his many friends. He had every toy and a pool and his very own hoop; needless to say he became a popular kid in elementary school.  
  
But there was never a moment where he wished he had a brother let alone a sister. His mother was an only child and in Nathan's entire life he couldn't remember his father never spoke more than one nice word about his brother Keith. He never made any positive connections with having siblings.  
  
That doesn't mean he wasn't familiar with the question, "wouldn't you like a baby brother or sister, Nathan?" because he was. Everybody and their grandmother seemed to ask him that, as it apparently was 'the thing' to ask an only child. But the most surprising part was that often times, Deb herself brought up the issue of siblings.  
  
At sixteen, Nathan realized now what she had been doing. She had been preparing him for the day when Lucas Scott would enter their lives as more than just an ghostly reminder of times pushed under the bed.  
  
While she was fixing him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch (it was the only thing he would eat), while she was putting batteries in his remote control car, while she was doing anything; she would brush his shaggy hair out of his eyes and say in a strong, calm voice, "I think it would be nice to have a brother. You could teach him to play basketball, the way Daddy taught you."  
  
It wasn't a question. It was a statement. "It's nice having siblings," she would say. But of course, he always had the same answer. "I only want it to be me, you and Daddy forever."  
  
He used to make her promise. Sometimes she did promise, but he was too young to notice the quiver in her lip, and the hint of despair in her eye.  
  
**  
  
Now here he was cuddling with Lucas Scott's best friend.  
  
When the rumors started that Lucas Scott didn't just coincidentally have the same last name as him, that lanky blonde-haired, blue-eyed teachers-pet Lucas Scott was the long-lost son of Dan Scott, he was not filled with a long lost sense of brotherly love. His first instinct was to prove beyond any doubt that this kid was a fraud, but of course that was his father's influence shining through. His second instinct, the one he kept up for years to come, was to ignore the guy most of the time. His father had obviously forgotten Lucas existed, and Nathan would do the same. He would only belittle him if he got in his face and tried to make trouble.  
  
But from what he heard from Haley's end of the conversation, Lucas was in enough trouble without him doing anything. Seems Lucas didn't have a fairy tale reunion with Peyton, and from what he pieced together through eavesdropping, somehow Brooke was now in the mix.  
  
"Luke, I don't know why you can't decide," Haley yelled in a frustrated tone into the phone. She sighed, and eyed Nathan apologetically. She had been on the phone for a good ten minutes now and Lucas was still seemingly incapable of reasoning out his feelings.  
  
Haley was silent then as Lucas was apparently telling her something and Nathan questioned her. Haley made the "blabbering" signal with her hand to show that Lucas was just yakking it up and Nathan couldn't help but laugh and pull her back into his arms. She'd been gone from them too long as it was.  
  
She smiled up at him but then in an instant a look of disgust was on her face at something Lucas must have just said. "Oh gross. I could have lived the rest of my life without knowing that."  
  
Nathan smirked, wondering what lewd thing Lucas had done with Brooke that could have freaked out Haley so badly. He was starting to get bored now. Haley was now instructing him on something and what Nathan really wanted to do was remind her that he was still in the room. He sat up. Haley rolled off him and smiled, but continued talking to Lucas.  
  
"Are you crying?" Haley asked, which must have been answered with a sharp NO because Haley immediately apologized even though both she and Nathan shared a laugh, and then she exclaimed, "I would never, that was the television."  
  
Nathan though, had his legs off the side of the bed. He stood up and was about to get dressed when he noticed Haley yawn. Her t-shirt rose up slightly as she inhaled. He crawled back onto the bed and Haley looked at him expectantly from her lying position.  
  
He smiled that sly smile and Haley knew in an instant he was up to something. Her eyes went wide and she was going to say something when he put a finger up to his lips. "Lesson one," he drawled in the tiniest of whispers. "The art of seducing a belly button."  
  
Haley's hands shot to cover up her body but he was too fast. He slid his hands over her already exposed stomach. Her toes curled as he started to place kisses there. She tried to keep her voice as she gave Lucas advice but it became harder to concentrate on anything but him. She balanced the phone in between her ear and her shoulder so she could run her hands through Nathan's hair.  
  
He peeked up at her. His face was flushed and he looked like he was enjoying himself. "Say goodbye," he mouthed.  
  
She shook her head no and mouthed back, "I can't."  
  
"Okay," he mouthed and shrugged his shoulders. If she had known what was going on in his head she would have hung up the phone.  
  
He lowered his mouth back to her stomach. A moment later she squealed and arched her back as he plunged his tongue into the small naval cavity in the center of her belly. Her eyes darted around and she couldn't help the large grin that erupted on her face. She covered her face with her hands.  
  
"You're terrible," she hissed. Then speaking back into the phone she said, "No, not you Luke."  
  
Nathan chuckled. He checked the clock. It was almost noon.  
  
"Haley, I'm hungry," he announced loud as day. Haley sighed. "I was quiet. Now I'm hungry and it's time for you to get off the phone. Or I could keep on." he lowered his mouth to her stomach again and as much as she didn't want to she pushed him off her, made a motion with her hand for him to go get dressed and she tried her hardest to get off the phone with Lucas.  
  
"Luke.yeah he was here the entire time.I didn't tell you because you were too busy freaking out about Peyton and Brooke.look I should go.I need to get dressed.no I didn't mean I was.Luke that's none of your business.I know you told me but I said I would have been happier never ever knowing that.okay I should have told you he was here I'm sorry.Luke I swear if you don't hang up I'm going to pinch your tattoo next time I see you."  
  
She hung up and threw the phone down ceremoniously on the bed.  
  
"The two of you are going to be the end of me," she huffed dramatically.  
  
He smiled as he took off his shirt and put on one of her brothers. "I thought you would like Lesson One," he grinned.  
  
"I did," she giggled.  
  
"But I'm still buying breakfast?" he asked knowingly.  
  
"Yup."  
  
He turned his back so she could get dressed. They continued talking over the sound of her removing her clothes which was a necessarily distraction for Nathan. He could be mature with her. He knew he could.  
  
"So Brooke and Lucas?" he cleared his throat.  
  
"He claims she's not just using him for a hood ornament. Apparently she wants them to be a couple," Haley explained.  
  
"That doesn't sound like Brooke's M.O.," Nathan answered, knowing the brunette a lot better than Haley.  
  
"You didn't know any of this?" Haley asked surprised.  
  
"No. I haven't spoken much to Brooke in a while. I guess I know why now," he replied. He waited a minute and then asked his own question. "How much does Lucas know about you and me?"  
  
"You can turn around," Haley said before answering his question when Nathan was facing her. "He knows that we kissed a few times. And now he knows you're here now so I'm sure he jumped to his own conclusions."  
  
"You didn't tell him we are a couple?" he asked, encircling her with his arms.  
  
She looked beautiful in a purple striped sweater and dark washed blue jeans. Her hair was unceremoniously up in a ponytail.  
  
"Cute," he smiled, pulling at it slightly.  
  
She rolled her eyes but kissed him softly.  
  
"When I told Lucas that I was kissing you," she began, "well, I didn't actually know we were a couple then. Actually, I still.um.is that what we are?" she asked hesitantly.  
  
His eyes opened wide like he does when he gets a right answer on a math question. "Yeah.well if you want to," he answered just as unsurely.  
  
"Okay," she said coyly, "I guess I can put up with you."  
  
She leaned up and he gave her one of those intense kisses that had the ability to make her start to  
  
"So what do you say we go to IHOP?" he asked eagerly.  
  
"I say, let's go."  
  
Of course, as they were about to leave the phone rang again. Haley picked it up even though Nathan was pleading with her to forget it and go eat.  
  
"Oh, hi Deb," she said after a minute.  
  
Nathan shook his head vehemently and mouthed for her not to say anything. Please, he mouthed as he repeatedly tried to get her to lie for him.  
  
"Um, I'm sorry Deb, but he's not here. I spoke with him though so I know he's okay," she lied with her mouth in a tight line.  
  
She hung up a moment later after swearing up and down to Deb that he was fine and would probably call home later. She looked over at him angrily.  
  
"Don't ever ask me to do that again. Not only do I work for your mother, but I genuinely like her as a person and that was just wrong," she told him.  
  
"I'm not ready to see them Haley. Besides, I wanted to spend more time with you alone and if my parents know where I am then that is definitely not going to happen," he defended himself.  
  
She sighed. "I know but I just don't like lying."  
  
He smiled slightly. "So why did you? You could have ratted me out."  
  
She wrapped her arms around him. "Because I knew why you didn't want me to." She paused. "But when you do talk to your mother, which is going to be later tonight when I go in to work, you are going to apologize for the both of us."  
  
"I guess I'll have to," he said as he hung his head slightly. But his eyes twinkled as he continued, "I mean.that's what couples do right?"  
  
She smiled at him as they started to walk out of the sanctuary of her bedroom.  
  
"I wouldn't know, but I think I'm looking forward to finding out." 


	3. Chapter Two Part One

Chapter Two Part One  
  
Nathan and Haley never made it to IHOP.  
  
It was such a simple decision really. Eat breakfast in or eat breakfast out. The two had been about to leave when something stopped them, an underlying feeling that neither was ready to share the other with the world yet, not when their first date at a public restaurant had ended in such disaster.  
  
That memory was on both of their minds as they each stalled in the front hall. Haley took a painfully long amount of time to put on her flowered hat and Nathan seemed unable to properly zipper his jacket. When a few minutes went by and neither made a move towards the door, he looked at her and she looked at him, and then a tiny smile crept up on her lips and she pulled him with her towards the kitchen.  
  
He watched her from the doorframe as she removed some ingredients from the refrigerator: eggs, orange juice, a loaf of sour dough bread, a banana and a stick of butter to grease the frying pan. She'd make him Karen's special French toast recipe. They'd have a nice breakfast in the comfort of her home and maybe even take the food back up to her room and eat together in bed.  
  
The aroma of the bread as it sizzled and crackled in the hot butter watered her mouth and she forgot about the daydream she had earlier about bagels with butter and cream cheese. A fresh cooked breakfast in the place where they felt most connected was exactly what they needed at the moment. It worried her though; they had to leave her house eventually. But she put that thought out of her mind for the moment as she searched through the fruit drawer for fresh berries.  
  
There were only blueberries but that would have to do. Nathan was standing idly beside her, exuding the aura that he felt completely out of place in the kitchen. He looked eager to get his hands on that French toast though. The boy was probably starving. She poured a giant glass of water and cut up a banana and an orange for him. He drank and ate while they talked and she oversaw what was happening on top of the stove.  
  
Nathan was just finishing a story about a prank he pulled on Tim when they were in middle school when the first batch of toast was finally done; perfectly browned and crisp. "I told Tim the candy was really hormone pills and for six weeks he thought he was going to turn into a girl," Nathan laughed at the memory.  
  
"He didn't believe you?" she called out incredulously over her shoulder from the stove.  
  
"Yeah, he did. He was a wreck for months." Nathan laughed at the memory. "I think he still checks sometimes to make sure he hasn't grown breasts."  
  
Haley laughed as she brought breakfast to the table that Nathan had set. She garnished each plate of French toast with sugar, cinnamon and berries; the look of surprise and delight on Nathan's face really pleased her.  
  
"I haven't tasted anything this good since Mom went back to work. I almost forgot that food wasn't supposed to be burnt on the edges and frozen in the center," he joked after he inhaled his first two slices. "How much more of this do you have over there?" he indicated over to where the pan was now soaking in soapy water.  
  
His face fell and she chuckled. She removed one of her slices and moved it over to his plate. "Eat slower because [I]that's it[/I]," she ordered him as he dug into the last two pieces.  
  
He questioned her with a surprised look but she told him it was fine. In truth, all the nervous energy she had been feeling since Nathan had arrived the night before had taken away most of her appetite. Besides, she usually snacked at the Café while she worked, and unfortunately she had to be there today in a few hours.  
  
"So, have you ever done something like that?" he asked, referring to his prank on Tim.  
  
"Um, of course not," she faltered for a moment and then finished lamely.  
  
"I knew it. Tell me the story," he pounced at the opportunity to learn more about her.  
  
"Fine," Haley cringed. "But first, you have to understand how hard it was being the youngest of six. I was always the last one to do anything."  
  
She had his undivided attention. He had even put down the fork so that he could really listen.  
  
"At dinner I was the last to get served so my food was always cold. I was the last to go shopping for new clothes so my hand-me-downs were always too big. And that wasn't even the half of it."  
  
Nathan involuntarily shook his head. He had no idea what that must have been like. The house was so silent whenever he visited her; he couldn't even imagine her living that life.  
  
"I was six years old and like all children I craved attention. It was hard for me because my siblings occupied a lot of my Mom's time. So one day she told me I could stay home from school and we would spend the whole day together."  
  
Her eyes lit up as she remembered the excitement she had felt as a child.  
  
"We made this special dinner for my dad and siblings. I worked so hard mashing potatoes and peeling carrots and I even helped her bake these really amazing brownies. They looked so good and I wanted to eat one so badly but Mom said I had to wait. I became so anxious, waiting for dinner to be over so I could eat my brownies. But,"  
  
Her face cracked slightly and she lowered her eyes.  
  
"When the plate of brownies got to me there were none left. I threw a fit. I screamed and cried about how everyone had eaten MY brownies. The other girls were calling me a baby and the boys were laughing at me. I was so mad at them that.that the next weekend I asked my mom if we could make brownies again and I put dog food in the batter when she wasn't looking."  
  
Nathan burst out laughing. "Haley!"  
  
"I know. It was terrible. When they tasted those brownies.my brother threw up and two of my sisters successfully pulled some hair out of my head. I got in so much trouble."  
  
"Wow. Remind me never to piss any of you off. I think it makes me happy I never had any." he swallowed his words as he realized that his statement wasn't exactly true any more.  
  
He forced himself to smile when he saw her bite her lip anxiously. "Hey, stop that. Luke and I.we came to an understanding the night Whitey kicked us off the bus. As long as he stays out of my way and I stay out of his, we'll be cool."  
  
"How can that work when you two are on the same team?" Haley questioned.  
  
Nathan's face faltered slightly but Haley caught the change in his expression. She touched his arm gently.  
  
"Tim text messaged me earlier when you were cooking. It seems Whitey cancelled basketball until further notice."  
  
Her eyes widened. [I]"Because of."[/I] her voice trailed off as she realized the implication of her statement.  
  
It had to have been because of what happened the night before with Nathan. At least, that was what Nathan thought but neither he nor Haley truthfully could know what was going on in Whitey's mind unless someone asked him.  
  
Nathan grew up hearing more stories about Whitey than about any actual relatives. Dan would cross his arms and lower his eyes and say through tight-pursed lips as he admonished Nathan for disagreeing with him or for fighting with him or for just plain having something to say when Dan wanted there to be quiet, "You sound like Whitey," as if that was the worst way to sound. It was no surprise that Nathan had a very short fuse when it came to dealing with the older man.  
  
"I screwed up so badly Haley," Nathan was really angry with himself. "I wish I had never bought those stupid pills."  
  
This is what Haley hated, when Nathan's guilt started to set in because she really didn't know what to say to make him feel any better. Words were just that, meaningless people, places and things that reassured him on the surface that things were going to be okay but did nothing to ease his quaking insides. Maybe all he needed was to see that she would be there.  
  
She was almost shaking when she grabbed his hand. She told herself to just breathe and ordered her brain to send messages down to her legs to begin walking up the stairs to her bedroom. He followed her without another word, even though he was unsure exactly what she had in mind. What she was going to do was show him that he may have made a bad decision but that he had not screwed up everything, that by coming to her last night he had not screwed up [I]them[/I].  
  
She guided him over to the bed, sheets and blankets still rumpled and un- made from before. She sat him down on the edge of the bed and stood between his legs. They were never eye level any other way. Her hands rested on his knees. "Haley?" he questioned her. "What the hell do you see in me?"  
  
"I see a good person, Nathan."  
  
He smiled. He might not be smiling when she continued.  
  
"I see someone I can't stay away from, even though.I know he is going to crash and burn and probably bring me down with him."  
  
She searched his face. It was blank.  
  
"You said it yourself Nathan; you do stupid things. And you know what, I don't hold it against you. We're sixteen. I haven't made all the right choices either. But I have this feeling that things aren't going to get any better for you. It's just," she bit her lip in anticipation, "you have me by your side no matter what happens. If you want me."  
  
He leaned in and kissed her in response. He rested his forehead against hers. "Does this make [I]you[/I] a sadist?" he joked. "Or am I just being really naïve since I'm pretty sure you insulted me somewhere in that speech."  
  
When he was this close to her it made it hard for her to concentrate on anything he was saying. Her hands busied themselves with the bottom of his shirt. She decided to be bold. She ran her hands under his shirt, inching up his torso.  
  
"Maybe I should check to see if you're ego's bruised?" she stumbled over the words, knowing how he would take the comment.  
  
He smirked and lifted his arms slightly so his t-shirt tugged up. "Sounds good to me but don't forget to take off yours too," he joked.  
  
"Pig," she chuckled.  
  
Her heart fluttered in her chest. [I]It's just a shirt,[/I] she chastised herself, [I]take it off.[/I] A smile involuntarily crossed her lips and he chuckled.  
  
"You know I'd appreciate if you didn't try and take advantage of me in my weakened emotional state."  
  
"Yeah, OKAY," she teased as she lifted the shirt up. She made eye contact with him and he moved forward, stretching out his arms so she could pull it up over his head. It got stuck somewhere around his ears. She closed her eyes. "Real smooth," she hissed under her breath.  
  
Nathan pulled his shirt back down.  
  
"I don't think we're up to that lesson just yet," he said with a tiny laugh. "Come on, we still have some time before you go to work and I crash and burn. Let me tutor."  
  
And she did. 


	4. Chapter Two Part Two

Chapter Two Part Two  
  
Haley James used to get in trouble for staying up late. She would refuse to go to sleep, being much more inclined to lie on the floor in Bethany's room, forgotten, while her older sisters passionately discussed both the pitfalls and the joys of adolescence. They had been teenagers at the time, fourteen, fifteen and twelve, completely boy-crazy and full of pre- pubescent energy. She would watch them tape pictures of Christian Slater and Jonathan Taylor Thomas up on their walls, scream as they watched The New Kids on the Block answer questions from fans on MTV, and practice learning every choreographed dance from the latest Janet Jackson music video.  
  
But Bethany's room was now her room. It had been repainted and redecorated since her sister moved out but the carpet was the same, and sometimes as Haley was lying in bed, her eyes would travel downward and instantly she was six years old again, hearing her sisters voices giggling about boys, trading hair-crimping tips or promising each other that the time was just around the corner when the James household would become inundated with boys knocking down their door.  
  
And did they ever. Tall boys, short boys, blonde boys, redheaded boys, boys with lisps, boys with studded earrings, lanky boys, boys with cars, boys who still rode bikes, rebellious boys, preppy boys, boys who memorized Star Wars, boys in wood shop, boys who thought they were the fourth member of the Beastie Boys, boys on Honor roll, boys with decorum, most without; she witnessed it all.  
  
There had been boys like Nathan. Sports-playing, devastatingly handsome, nimbly fingered, smart mouthed, ill tempered. Those were the boys her sisters cried over the most. That was the boy she had cried over on the floor of Karen's Café.  
  
He could have easily walked away after that night. He could have easily pleaded with her to remain his tutor but to leave it indefinitely at that. He would have been like all the others who never went that extra step to jump over the barbed wire fenced around her emotions. But instead, he had pursued her: tracking her down at the music store the morning after the Scott party, convincing her to give Brooke's serial date a chance, throwing rocks at her parent's bedroom so he could explain his reaction to Tim and the team crashing that date.  
  
Nathan turned the invisible girl visible.  
  
His power to do so rested in his arms as they completely encircled her tiny frame, in his warm breath as he sighed into her neck, in his fingertips as he kneaded the muscles down her back. His power also rested in his palms as he sweetly rubbed small circles on her back, in his wide-opened eyes as he refused to tear his gaze away from her face.  
  
But mostly, it rested in the words he spoke; his inflection filled with comfort and understanding, total sincerity and appreciation. "You know, it's actually a relief that Whitey cancelled b-ball," he reflected on the news he had heard earlier.  
  
Haley knew he would never enjoy the game unless he took basketball out of context and re-associated it with fun, strength and ability not competition and devaluation. "Well, you need to remember why you love the game before you can start to enjoy it again," she replied.  
  
"I don't know. Sometimes I think I never liked it to begin with," he said sadly.  
  
His hands drifted down towards her side and she shifted as he made contact with her ticklish parts. She let out a soft cry and quickly turned over, wiggled out of his embrace and sat up.  
  
"Hey, never there," she raised her eyebrow at him, before continuing. "Anyway, I just don't think that's true Nathan and maybe if you spend some time playing on your own terms with no Whitey and no team, you'll change your mind. I can even come with you if you want."  
  
His eyes lit up. "You'll play b-ball with me?" he asked to clarify, with a huge smile on his face.  
  
"Yes," she reaffirmed. The look he gave her was one of lifted relief. If Haley had been vertical she would have been bouncing on her heels. He wanted to share basketball with her. "We can go to the park tomorrow," she tried to hide the excitement in her voice but couldn't.  
  
He leaned in, pushed a strand of hair away from her eyes, and then kissed her. A few moments later a buzzing sound broke their concentration. "Hey, you're vibrating," he commented.  
  
Haley laughed and pecked his lips as she reached into her pocket for the phone. Caller ID: Lucas. She let the call go to voicemail. "He can wait."  
  
It was something she had to do. The new sensations she felt being close to Nathan were overwhelming and at the moment Haley didn't want to rehash Lucas's problems with him twice in one day, especially since she had a feeling he was going to be in the middle of this twisted triangle for a while to come. Besides Haley wasn't done cuddling and that was just as important, if not more. "Come here," she whispered to Nathan, who had moved coyly towards the edge of the bed.  
  
Haley took a good look at him before he closed the space between them, still chuckling at her dismissal of Lucas, but stopping so he could lower his lips onto hers. "Much better," she breathed. "Much, much better."  
  
**  
  
Later that day, the outside world proved to be a lot more sobering than the peaceful morning Nathan and Haley shared in her house.  
  
First, they had dealt with his mother. Deb greeted Nathan with cold apathy. He had been confused at first, since he expected his mother to make a big fuss out of his appearance, but when it dawned on him, he turned to Haley and whispered under his breath: "Oh shit, she knows."  
  
Lucas had made an unexpected trip to the Café and was sitting there talking to Deb when Nathan and Haley arrived. He looked over to Nathan and said with a stoic face, "all I said was that I spoke to Haley this morning and you were there," holding up his hands like he was surrendering for something. "You shouldn't have lied to her man."  
  
Nathan retreated after Deb into the kitchen where he attempted to apologize on behalf of himself and Haley for not telling Deb the truth about where he had been the night before, and for not calling at all when he first left the hospital. He was received with a cold shoulder and a sorrowful expression that only a mother could have etched into her features. "I'm really sorry Mom," Nathan tried again, but to no avail.  
  
"I wanted one night away from you and dad. Is that really so bad, considering what happened?" he said, pausing for his mother to finally break her stoic vow, but when she made no move he stormed out for good.  
  
He didn't hear her sigh when the door slammed, and he couldn't know what was in Deb's thoughts. [I]I am not your father, Nathan. I don't treat you like he does,[/I] she reminded him, only he was long gone.  
  
The cause for her mind-rumblings and speculations stemmed from the fact that today Deb actually had a conversation with Lucas for the first time today. It had really been more of a two minute meet-and-greet than a conversation, before he pulled out a book and sat and read for a while, but at least it was something in comparison to the usual cold-shoulder turn around she usually received.  
  
Deb had noticed immediately that something was bothering the boy and she called him on it, doubting that he would confide in her about anything but hoping that maybe he would give her a chance. Always polite, Lucas had thanked her for asking but said that it wasn't a problem he couldn't fix for himself or with Haley's help. Which is why he had come to the Café. He had braved a possible run-in with Dan so that he could see Haley. But Haley was with Nathan at her house. Nathan was with Haley all night. Nathan was in a lot of trouble for lying, and no matter how much Deb wanted to yell and get all her emotions out, she had kept it inside, refusing to even talk to her son.  
  
She was tired, and fed up, and a part of her knew that Nathan's apologies were nothing more than Haley force-feeding him polite etiquette.  
  
It was shocking to her how both boys could have been born of Dan's parentage but had been reared so differently. When she looked at Lucas, her husband's eldest child, she wondered where he got that head of dirty, sandy blonde hair that seemed to evolve separately from his DNA. No one in the Roe or Scott families had blonde hair. Keith had light hair, though. Keith had a pleasant disposition, unlike Dan.  
  
She turned her analysis inward. She didn't always have blonde hair. It was the day after she turned thirty-five, when she looked in the mirror and saw a long silver strand corroding her chocolate brown hair, that she made an emergency trip to the hair salon, chopped her hair off at the ears and started dying it the "girls-just-wanna-have-fun" color it was now. She understood where her light hair came from. It was mixed from a bottle and applied from root to tip every month.  
  
So it was almost like Lucas hid his paternity physically and emotionally. Not that he had a choice in either matter; that had been her husband's, and mother natures, doing. She wondered if it confused Lucas as much as it confused her.  
  
Nathan on the other hand, was almost the spitting image of Dan. It used to make her so proud, but now it caused butterflies to flap their wings against the walls of her stomach. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark inside too.  
  
She sighed. It was the truth, except when he was around Haley.  
  
Deb swung open the kitchen door and stepped through into the main room of the Café. Haley was standing by the door, eyes-wide and hands fidgeting at her side, neck and head in constant motion from looking between Lucas standing next to her and Nathan, who must have just walked out the door. "Will you just go after him?" she heard Haley practically seethe at him. "I can't leave when she's already really mad. I don't want things to get even worse for him."  
  
"What do you think went on in there?" Lucas asked back.  
  
"I don't know Luke that's why I'm telling you to make yourself useful and go see if my boyfriend is okay!"  
  
Deb realized immediately that Haley snapping at Lucas was more about her being worried for Nathan but not wanting to leave and possibly make things worse with his mother. The girl was too responsible sometimes. Deb would let her follow Nathan, in fact she was more than thrilled to send him the best thing that had ever happened to him. "Go," she motioned to the door. "Find him, take him home, make sure he."  
  
But Haley didn't hear any more. She was out the door in an instant and running down the street. "Nathan," she called out to him. He stopped at the sound of her voice and turned around. He opened his arms and she ran into them. "You left?" he asked.  
  
"I had a small conflict of interest," she said weakly, bringing a hand up to touch his face.  
  
"You didn't leave until she let you, right?" he started to grin and didn't sound mad in the slightest that she needed his mother's permission.  
  
"Well, yeah, but I had almost started wearing holes in the carpet waiting for her," she said, looking downward. "Like, black-hole sized ones."  
  
Nathan was quiet for a moment but then spoke up. "I'll find a way to work it out with Mom. She's disappointed in me, and she's probably pissed at Dad, but she'll get over it and when she does things will go back to normal."  
  
Haley nodded. She didn't want to tell him it probably wouldn't work out like that, so instead she just kissed him softly on the lips.  
  
**  
  
Next, they had to dodge Lucas otherwise they would spend the rest of the afternoon and evening with a third-wheel tagging along looking for relationship advice. They had walked halfway to the park when Lucas caught up with them.  
  
"Hey," he said as Haley turned around to face him. "I said I still needed to talk to you."  
  
"And I told you earlier what to do. I don't want to talk this into the ground. Just do what I said - go to Peyton and tell her you want her back."  
  
Nathan shifted uncomfortably as Haley talked with Lucas, and the interesting thing was, she was shifting uncomfortably too. Her eyes kept darting back and forth between Lucas and Nathan and when she kept her glance on one too long, her hands began to sweat and she ceremoniously had to look at the other. How was this ever going to work?  
  
"It's not that easy Haley. I - Brooke stayed over last night. If I go back to Peyton now, it'll really hurt Brooke."  
  
Nathan, enjoying the change of subject away from his home life, decided to voice his own opinion on the matter. "I have some advice," he ventured. "Pick Brooke."  
  
Haley nudged him, eyes widened. "Are you kidding?" she asked him.  
  
"Look Haley, the guy obviously wants to have some fun. Let him," Nathan answered.  
  
Lucas piped in, stepping closer to Nathan. "I don't need you to talk for me," he said angrily.  
  
Nathan went to push him back. "Hey, back off."  
  
Haley shook her head. "I did step into a black hole," she lamented dryly. "Put your machismo on hold, both of you. I need to think."  
  
She turned to Luke after a moment. "I don't understand you. You're not acting like the Lucas I know and love, and because of that, I'm going to agree with Nathan, because Peyton deserves more than having you jerk her around. If you were with Brooke last night, it means you ultimately wanted to choose her, so go with it. Have fun. I hope it makes you happy." With that, Haley turned her back.  
  
Nathan stepped in line with her. "You probably shouldn't follow us, but she'll call you later, if you still feel like being an indecisive pansy," he said to Lucas.  
  
He took Haley's hand in his and the two started to walk away down the street.  
  
"Is that the closest we're ever going to get to a civil conversation between the three of us: me getting emotional, Lucas being confrontational and you goading him," she asked disheartened.  
  
"Probably," Nathan answered honestly.  
  
The tiniest of smiles flickered across her face. "I was just checking."  
  
**  
  
"Say that again? You want to go home and read sonnets?" she asked Nathan incredulously.  
  
The two were sitting on a bench at the park.  
  
"Is that so weird?" he asked back, a smile slowly creeping up his face, contorting his features with the hidden dimples that emerged from their hidden spots.  
  
"You just want to study in bed until you get tired and fall asleep on me," she said with a laugh.  
  
"That sounds good to me," he admitted.  
  
His head was angled down at hers and he still had a smile on his face. She looked up slightly into his eyes and let her smile mirror his. "You're real lucky 'Math' is good at English too, or you would be in such trouble. You'd have to find yourself another tutor."  
  
He shook his head just slightly. He hadn't broken eye contact with her. Her cheek muscles were starting to hurt from holding up her smile but there was no other expression she could have on her face at this moment that would convey the way she felt when Nathan stared into her eyes.  
  
"Never," he responded. "I told you once, I'll tell you again. There could never have been anyone else." 


End file.
